Can't sit around whilst this condition consumes an entire family!

To get my point across as well as take the first step in getting some answers in this blog, I've thought it best to write this in a story format. Of course, I have no writing experience beside the odd essays and assignments in academia... Nevertheless, I shall attempt to write enough to enable me seek answers and of course - help.
I grew up in the city of Ilorin, Kwara State in Nigeria. A really calm and visitor friendly town. Far away from the hustle and bustle of the big-city-life of Lagos, Ibadan or Abuja.

The G.R.A area was one of many communities easily compared to a melting pot of people from all parts of the world. The Bishops’ residence right at the junction which saw numerous clergy folks of all nationalities take up residency at any point in time; and so on and so forth.

There was also a large community of University lecturers, professors and folks from the academia who had relocated from one part of the world or the other, to take up teaching or administrative jobs at the University of Ilorin (which I attended). All said, it was one big community where everyone knew someone who knew your folks.
Now you have an idea as to how the neighbourhood/environment was like. Now I shall attempt to vent in the next few paragraphs which hopefully would reflect the title of this post.

I knew the Oyinloyes from the neighbourhood. Dr. Oyinloye and family we called them. Our families were close whilst we were growing youngsters from the ages of 9 to 10years old. We went bike riding together but attended different schools.

The Oyinloye boys were 4 in number. The first was Tunde (aka Jordan), the second was Ayo, third was Olatunde (aka Fido :) ) and the fourth is Akintunde (I called him A.K.) All cool and intelligent dudes!

For years whilst I visited the Oyinloyes, watched movies and went bike riding together, I didn't really have a clue what was going on in the house. One day, I visited the house to and noticed 'Jordan' carrying his mum into the room. (I must mention here - as strange as it may seem- that I had never seen their mum before now - EVER!) I was a little confused and wondered what was going on. Being a curious young person, I asked to know what was going on. I'll put a pause to the story here.

Suffice to say, their mum had this condition: Foramen Magnum Syndrome and needed help getting things done. Again, I shall put a pause to the story here.

Fast forward a few years >> Ayo, (the second of the Oyinloye boys) was very artistic in that he loved to paint and draw. He also had a knack for networking and meeting people. This was something we had in common (networking and meeting people - I couldn't paint or draw to save my life!)

The University lecturers were on strike and all we did in the neighbourhood was exchange novels, movies and play basket ball. Well, it kept us out of trouble as well as helped bring out an entrepreneurial side to us. Case in point: I, Ayo and Kunle (my class and course mate at university at the time) got together and decided to go on an entrepreneurial mission/business venture to the Federal Capital - Abuja. (Note to self: I must write about that particular journey in a blog!)

Anyway, towards the end of our business stint in Abuja, Ayo received some rather distressingly sad news from home - his mum had passed on. It was really sad indeed. For me, it was the first time Ayo had really sat down to speak with me about the condition his mum suffered from - Foramen Magnum Syndrome.

I thought he was a really brave soul and I couldn't help but applaud him and his siblings for hanging tough with the situation around the condition...

Fast forward a few more years. Ayo wasn't always in the neighbourhood; I never saw him much but kept in close touch with Tunde (eldest of the Oyinloye boys), Olatunde (3rd of the boys) and Akin (the last born).

I have different stories of connection and contact which makes me really close to the Oyinloye boys.

Let me share the next part of this around my stories/experiences with Tunde Oyinloye (aka Jordan). Jordan was the popular nickname linked to his basket ball skills. He played at School and I remember we all played basket ball in the neighbourhood opposite the Oyinloye's place at the aptly named 'Jordan's Playground. Michael Jordan played for the Bulls at the time so whoever's reading this will remember the 'era'.

Another story that links me up with 'Jordan' was again, another one around being entrepreneurial. There was almost certainly something about the 'Ilorin City' air and how it got us young ones thinking about making our own money and being able to have a go at things really.

Well, Jordan had this really interesting side to him - wait for it - Jordan could make shoes! What's more, he could make if from denim! So Tunde a.k.a Jordan designed loafer-like, slip-on like, easy-wear kind of cool denim shoes. It was really in back then and you had to have one. Tunde started doing this and I remember getting together with him to discuss some ideas I had around spicing up the designs by sticking fancy labels on the shoes and looking for other denim 'wash' (we differentiated denim designs according to their 'wash' in them days - marble wash, stone wash etc. Boy; did we worship denim back then or what?! We were teenagers! )

So, this was one of the many interactions we had as teenagers. Fast forward a few years >> Tunde Oyinloye, a.k.a Jordan, passed on 2008 or 2009. Foramen Magnum Syndrome had got him as well.

Olatunde a.k.a Fido, was the third of the Oyinloye boys. Fido was a 'party kindda dude', happy-go-lucky, had loads of friends and got on well with mostly everybody in the neighbourhood.

Now I'm thinking what's the best story to share about 'Fido'? It'll have to be the one about how he'd like to get some clothes for a party coming up and he'd gone to pay a deposit at the boutique called 'FORUM' (was where you went in them days) and he'd like to sell some hats he had to clear the balance - or something along that line. One thing I do remember is, Fido was always determined to get what he wanted. You just couldn't help but enjoy a good old banter with him about what he'd been up to and what parties were 'happening' and all.

Fast forward a few years >> Olatunde a.k.a Fido had the condition: Foramen Magnum Syndrome. As I write this, he (Olatunde), cannot walk around nor do anything by himself. Hasn't been out of the house in 5years (according to one of his old friends who'd been to see him about a year ago!). So, Fido's in the house and can't do anything by himself or for himself.

As for my last portion of this write up, I'll bring you up to date and share my most recent information here and this is really based on the last one of the Oyinloye brothers: Akintunde Oyinloye, a.k.a 'A.K.'

Well, A.K. was a down-to-earth, soft-spoken dude. It was Akin who really shed a lot of light on the condition called Foramen Magnum Syndrome. The stories he'd told me around coping with the passing of his mum etc really endeared me to him in an older brother kind of way. Akin was always trying to find out more about the condition and find out about possible treatment. He would speak about things and how worried he felt about things and how he hoped he would not be affected by the condition etc. AK was especially close to me and also came to my house on Sundays and we'd share the good old 'Pounded yam' Sunday lunch. He'd even help prepare the food sometimes!

Fast Forward a few years >> I'd moved to England and wasn't in contact with most people from the old neighbourhood. I visited the old neighbourhood several times and made sure I visited the Oyinloyes. On one of my visits in 2002, I saw Jordan; he's just started showing symptoms of this condition. Please don't ask me what the symptoms are. You can always tell when your friends/mates you've known for half your live don't act as agile as they would. In this case I was worried when Jordan couldn't really hold a full telephone conversation with me without slurring the conversation.

I also saw 'Fido' he'd also started showing signs of this dreaded condition. A ten metre walk could take him half an hour or more. I was sad and heartbroken!

I saw A.K. We chatted. He told me how he'd like to really travel out of the country to at least just get checked up by a good medical team - he sounded worried. I shed a tear and started thinking of how best to help someone but I wasn't rich. I couldn't afford to do anything really.

Well, I arrived back in England and called AK. Asked what the most urgent thing was for him at the time. He said he'd like to apply for his passport so at least he'd have that to hand in case help came from somewhere he'd have his most basic travel document ready. I thought - yeah, good idea. I better help out with that! I responded and sent Akin some money to help him obtain his travel document.

Fast forward a few years >> Akin Oyinloye and I have a chat on Skype after catching up on Facebook. I'm happy but then again I'm aware of all that's going on. Akin asks me 'You heard Jordan's passed on?' I say to him I'm aware and extended my sympathy at the loss. He tells me 'Fido' is still in the house.

He goes on to tell me how Mrs. Ayinmodu had been helping him get things done. Mrs. Ayinmodu had organised an MRI Scan for him, had bought him a laptop on which I am able to reach him via Skype. Mrs Ayinmodu had also helped him pay and register for a Java course he's just registered for. WOW! There certainly are good people out there. Then it hit me - Akin's speech was a tad slurred - I'm worried!
Akin's friend Dele, had come to visit Akin, so I got chatting with him on Skype. He tells me Akin is trying to be strong...

Then I asked myself why my childhood friends are getting hit by this condition called Foramen Magnum Syndrome, might just be because it's one of those conditions people are not aware of. I suggest to Akin and his friend Dele there and then. Why can't we get a donation going and we just might be able to raise some money to get Akin a proper visit to a specialist who might know how best to get some help for Ak and Fido.
They agree and think it might not be a bad idea.

I'm thinking perhaps this might be one to blog and share on Facebook. Share with some old friends from the neighbourhood etc.

Then Akin sends me an email and explains to me that he'd like to get the kind Mrs. Ayinmodu involved. I think to myself; that is just brilliant news to me because I wouldn't know where best to start co-ordinating stuff.
So, I'll have a chat or email exchange with Mrs. Ayinmodu (Akin always spoke highly of her even back in the days) and see how best we can organise some fundraising amongst friends or whoever wishes to be involved.
Help by way of sending the link to this badly written blog to someone who might have an idea or two as to getting started, would go a long way!

Thanks for reading!

TJ, aka Tee-Hype from back in the days. Trying to not sit around and watch 'Foramen Magnum Syndrome' destroy my friends! Can you help?!